its all over

so the money worries arise.
To start off my mother got layed off from her job last tuesday. I have to worry about getting a car that won't break down on me the second i pay for it. Then I've got school next year. and with that comes the decision of what to do> i have no clue. Theres so many things to do out there that i would just do because i'd earn the money to get by, but deciding is what's really killing me.
Im worried about my farther into the future aswell. the married part. already! i know.
I want to have enough money to start out and make sure both me and my husband to be have stable jobs and income. and to be able to pay for the wedding that i will more then likely underbudget.
I also have the small problem of shopping. too much. I have to stop. the world of fashion is so straining and mind controlling. yet i dont even live in that part of the fashion world i live in the one under it where i pay for the sale items that everyone has already worn for the season.
thats my way of saying i'm behind a season. every season.
to put it nicely.
I always wanted to get into journalism but i dont know where that could lead me, into the life of writing meaningless things about back to school items of fall, to the new recipiet i didnt even write, to something just rediculously boring and unread by almost everyone.
Then i could get into fitness. the only reason is because i suit the part. i have to "look" for it. but thats it. i know nothing about it, and dont have the actually mentality or strenght for it either.
I could..become a dental assistant. I'd only do that because its a year course and i'd make decent money.
I have no idea.

and its killing me.

slowly.

ever. so. slowly.

Never Give in to Average.

I have not been keeping up to date with this thing, shocker considering I do nothing at work all day and am constantly on the internet.
I always start off with well lifes going well, or lifes good or something along those lines, so how about I start up different today, just go out on a whim be totally random..
My boyfriend comes home today.
You know i never use to like calling them that. boyfriends boyfriends. I would just say there name and expect everyone to know who they are. But I guess more recently I've become comfortable using the term boyfriend in a relationship. Unlike that idiot Justin Bobby from the Hills. what the hell was audrina thinking, sorry let me refrase that, what the hell IS she thinking! My Dog has more human feelings then he does, and I dont even have a Dog.
I work with a guy who's seeing a psychiatist for 'stress' problems, I make enough money to get by on the weekends, my only days off, I'm slowly blowing into a ballon although everyone around me pretends not to see it, I'm extremely lazy at work, I sleep the second I get home from work. Well I could keep going but I could get boring so here.

Never give in to average.